Waiting

As soon as my youngest was going to pre-school full time, I started to feel a bit hollow.  My job, that had once made me feel alive, was leaving me drained.  I lacked motivation and ambition and didn’t feel like myself. 

Perhaps when precious resources are constrained (like my time and my energy) I’m less satisfied with the status quo.  Or maybe having two kids changed me and my heart so completely that I needed something new.  Either way I found myself yearning for a more fulfilling way to contribute to the world AND my family’s bank account. 

This personal awakening came at what most would call an “inopportune time.”  I was dealing with health issues that left me chronically fatigued, we were still recuperating the savings I depleted for maternity leave, and my husband had his hopes set on going back to school for his administrative certificate.  (Shout out to all the teachers out there!)  Oh yeah, and I had a three-year-old and one-year-old running around.  As my mother-in-law says, we were “in it.”

All of that was true and yet my heart was tugging me toward a new direction.  I started leaning on prayer and looking for the signs and opportunities that were put in my path.  The answers I heard and found were all telling me the same thing – to go into business for myself helping women pursue meaningful work.  Following my heart, I filed the paperwork for my LLC and started a coaching certificate program.  One day a trusted friend asked me, “Are you sure this is the right time for all of this?  Maybe you should wait three years or so when things have calmed down a bit…”

My friend was right, in three years we would have more savings, the kids would be older and more self-sufficient, and my husband could have completed his certificate program.  My head acknowledged that she made perfect sense, but my heart and my gut screamed “no, now!”

Tomorrow is not a guarantee and my intuition was clearly pointing me to blaze a new trail.  Sometimes you have to fly in the face of logic to truly live.  I can’t boast about any amazing windfalls that have come my way (yet) but I can attest to feeling alive again.  I am healthier mentally and emotionally and have more of me left over at the end of my work day to devote to my precious family. 

Throughout life there seasons of waiting, there are seasons of moving, and there are seasons of contentment.  Being aware of what season you’re in can be so difficult!  I’m appreciating that sometimes the wisdom my heart and gut are offering is worth following and whether this is a detour or a whole new path I’m here for a reason and this is my season of moving.  If any of this resonates with you, I have one question…what are you waiting for?

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